Thursday, 24 December 2009

Yuletide and Snowmans

A very Merry Christmas to those that celebrate the red and green themed occasion. :)

Ho Ho Ho. Wish i got to go to a friends Christmas Party way over in Msia. sighs,. all the cookies, and puddings and good people i shall not see.

...feel like packing up and flying home. hehe.

i have to toughen up.

Cheers all.

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Scrubs or no scrubs

You know your being upgraded when you get "called" to scrub in when others are not.
And no, its not just to hold a clamp in place or suction the oozing blood.
But suturing the tendon or actually to hold the saw on an amputation.


It pays to be hard-working after all.

You can call me stupid if i mess up. Never lazy. Ever.

                                                    Elephantisis scrotalis - operation 21/12/2009 (face left oout for privacy purposes) and no, he's not sitting on a pillow..that is exactly what it says. scrotalis.

necrotic burn wound. amputation in 2 hours. yeah. i am assisting ;)

mild contracture

auricular keloid
in other words. aesthetics scar removing operation tomorrow.

Monday, 7 December 2009

Knives and Forks

   A surgeon is like an artist, instead of using a paintbrush to create art, they use knives, a ten-blade (as you keep hearing them call out for in grey's anatomy, or ER) to help mold the human anatomy and restore function or aesthetics to their 'Art'.

   I think in every reference of surgeons in general, you can say they are the 'jock's ' of the medical field. If not i, they themselves consider surgeons the 'jocks' of the medical social scene. They walk tall, full of confidence, no fear, and just reeks of an aura i can only describe with words.

   I used to think that it would be cliche'; but being in my 3rd week of surgical rotation. I just have to say it. Surgeons are uber-cool. :P

  Of course, there are moments when i can hate them in an instant, but still marvel at their meticulous skill. Some are neurotic perfectionist which can be hard to bear, maybe even IMPOSSIBLE to bear but still.
Being in the ER for 2 weeks, i got to see first-hand, how the doctors deal with the most gruesome of situations. Imagine watching Grey's Anatomy, where they wait by the door in gloves and aprons for the ambulance that would bring i n anticipated patients? well, over here it's quite different.
We wait inside the hospital, with only our gloves as the protective barrier for us to handle the mess.

    Left right and center are patients with obstructive ileus, stab wounds, head trauma, multiple fractures, open, closed, you name it. But the worse is not the big bloody mess of a patient. But the seemingly normal one, walking in in a sarong covering a 2 year old tumor that is bigger than the patients head, oozing pus and necrotic tissue (dead skin). Oh wow, the smell will push you out of this world. And sticks on you- for days (maybe thats just my paranoia).

   And my job as the junior doctor? There are no nurses in the ER. we check the patient in, assess his/her A,B,C (Airway, Breathing etc), plug in the infusion needle, urine catheter and NGT if required.Any wounds, we get the liberty to be the ones cleaning it and suturing.

     It is tiring; but once you're in the heat of saving that patients just feels worth it.
I was posted in Akademis Hospital last week on my own to assist 2 Surgical residents there. I was in charge of all operation prep procedures, clerking patients in the ER as well as rounds every day at 5   am and 4 pm in the wards.

    The best part of each day was the operations i get to see. If i was lucky, and the Attending is somewhat excited to teach, i get to scrub in and assist. (Photo of an OREF i saw, i assisted an ORIF repair on a fractured femur. but no photos. :( )

I never knew i could feel so excited about holding a clamp. Maybe its the air in the operation theatre. Maybe its the fact that sometimes you get to close up the patient. Maybe its because all is well so far.

8 weeks to go. This photo is a photo of a trepanase procedure, where Burr holes are made in the skull to release trapped air that caused an increased intracranial blood pressure.

Can't wait.

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

There's something wrong with Lord of The Rings

I read thi from a friends' page; Jason Leong. i thought it was funny and worth a mention. read it. :)

When the dust has settled, and peace restored to Middle-Earth, once the mighty Sauron has collapsed, one applauds at a beautiful trilogy masterfully made by a genius equal to Tolkien himself, Peter Jackson. But now that I have time to reflect and swirl my thoughts about the plot, I realize that something is terrible wrong with the story of how Middle Earth was saved.

Here's what's wrong : I think Sauron should have won.

I mean, ya gotta give the guy credit. He was BRILLIANT! I mean, he created the One Ring, which controlled many other rings, which controlled the dwarves, the elves, etc. It gave the wearers a false sense of security, as if they were in control, but in actuality, they were not! The same concept can be seen today in pyramid schemes! Sauron was way ahead of his time man.

Okay, then he controlled Saruman, who looked extremely dodgy in the first movie, like the classic I-act-like-a-good-guy-but-
actually-am-the-bad-guy-just-wait-for-the-plot-twist kinda character. I dont trust Christopher Lee's eyebrows. Saruman then built this massive Isengard, which then had massive factories which built cruel war machines. Now we see Sauron embracing technology to achieve his goal.

First politics, now technology. Sauron can do it all.

Then, mastering genetic modification and biology, he created the Uruk-Hai ( which sounds like a bad Chinese word),a cross breed between Orcs and Men. Not only did he bred them, he assembled them into an army, giving them weapons and armor, and organizing them into an effective fighting unit.

One by one, cities in Middle Earth felt, in a meticulous decimation by Sauron's forces. Sauron was a tactical genius.

Then came Helm's Deep, and we all know what happened there. It is at Helm's Deep, where the first injustice occurs for Sauron.

Sauron had what, 10,000 soldies, outnumbering the Men. Not only that, they managed to break the fortress, something never done before. Then, in a matter of 10 minutes, his armies are defeated by Orlando Bloom skateboarding down a flight of stairs and....SUNLIGHT!!!!! The Black Evil , the Uruk-Hai, The Lidless Eye's army, the black shadow spreading across Middle Earth...were BLINDED by SUNLIGHT and then defeated? How is this realistic?

But Sauron was not one to give up. No sirree, he had perseverance,determination and the unwillingness to give up.He regrouped, and sent more armies, this time to thrash Minas Tirith. Sauron, ever the strategist, also sent warships BEHIND minas tirith to ambush them while they were preoccupied with the war at the front.

The Men were outnumbered. Many of their kind had died. THeir spirits were broken, and Legolas's hair was slightly out of place. They were about to be defeated, and rightfully so, for the master strategist had already beaten them.While the men were fragmented, Sauron's army was relatively united.

Then suddenly, Aragorn talks to a bunch of GHOSTS in a random CAVE and decimates the ENTIRE SAURON ARMY!???!!??!!?

Apa ni???

Who doesnt pity Sauron just a teensy weensy bit? I mean, cmon!

Of Birthdays, Cakes and Surprises

14th of November is a big day for me. It is, afterall, the day i was born 24 years ago.

This year, i celebrated my birthday, in a dark hallway, in the morgue, waiting for a dead body to be brought in by a paramedic. Well, it was 11.45pm on the 13th; but still..that was my birthday.

I was posted in Bhayangkara Hospital for a week; which began on the 5th of November till the 15th. And so i already knew that i wouldn't be able to do much or see my friends as i had duties to attend to. Posted in this hospital, means i have to live in the on-call room with 5 other junior doctors like myself and wait for autopsies and medical exams for legal cases (i am currently in the forensics department). It's not like what you see on CSI. get real. we do autopsies, and paperwork. nothing else. oh yeah, but reporting and reconstructiing of the crime is kinda cool. ;)
 Anyway, i was pretty down the whole day untill my fellow group mate ran out and got me a cupcake. yeah, one and it was sweet of her. At least i thought i had something to blow a candle on to make the day feel a bit special. Later that evening, my dear friends Shila, Wah, Huey, Elango and Melvin came to the hospital and surprised me with a dozen doughnuts (i love J.CO.s ) and gifts. We crammed into the on-call room and hung out till late (the cops had to call them out for disturbing said junior 11.30pm. The hospital i was stationed at by the way is a police manned hospital.)

Sunday was spent studying for my exam on monday morning. before finally leaving bhayangkara hospital at 8pm for home.Earlier in the week,  some of my juniors had water shortage at their homes so i let them shower and wash in my house as i was not living there for the week anyway, so i rang them up to say i was coming home and i wnated my keys. So when i got home, it annoyed me that they didn't come out to help me with my things ( i was holding three bags, a chair and a fan. phew) when i knew they were inside and heard me calling. But then when i knocked and the door was open, standing in front of me was my dear junior Boo, holding up a home-made chocolate cake and to her left was a table filled with home-cooked chicken rice just for me. My neighbors were there as well, and sang along. Surprise no.2!
Needless to say, the cake was delicious, and so was the chicken rice. I guess it pays to be nice :)

Monday morning started great, finished my exam at 11 am, went for karaoke with my gal pals and then Huey called me out to try the new sushi place. And what do you know, surprise! they got me another choc cake and bought me dinner. :) did i say i love my friends? because i do.

I want to put up photos but it being all surprises, i actually didn't take any. But my friends did, so i shall put them up when i get them :)

 November is not just a special day for me, i've been sharing birthdays with my older sister longer than i can remember as her birthday is on the 17th.

This year, i surprised her with none-other than the trendiest thing since doughnuts!

cupcakes. hand-made to perfection and personalized to a tee by my high school friend Mei Leng.She creates these art works and delivers them too!

since my sister was an avid traveller, i wanted the cakes to show that, and that she's an architect, used to live in New Zealand. so here they are. I  knew she loved em :)

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Hot & Humid November

Hello November,
I usually get psyched up when i see the turn of the calendar right after Halloween.
Of course. it means a month closer to the end of the year, my birthday would come up and usually i'd be flying home soon enough.

But the extended power cuts are annoying me physically, mentally as well as emotionally. Stress can alter everything about you.
For the past week i've been stationed in Bhayangkara Hsopital, in charge of doing autopsies as well as forensics examination in legal-medicine.: rape, abortion, road-accidents and etc

So it has been a hectic week where we are not allowed to leave the hot, air-less hospital, and to add up to our misery, there is no fan, no window in our on-call room. and the electricity gets cut every 6 hours, for 3 dang hours. Even the water stops running after the 2nd day.

I get hopeless, and tired, and angry and emotional. hmm..

ok, so the upside is we get free wireless internet connection with a very limited speed. but still..only so much free browsing can happen when you're hot and sweating.

Hello November indeed.

Wednesday, 28 October 2009


Last weekend, on the 19th, my very close girl-friend got enganged to her long-time-best bud in a very sweet ceremony which i wished i was able to attend. Sadly, not being there i could only offer my coongratulations through the technology of text messages n fb account. haha. Za's engagement was the 2nd engagement i missed this year, which hopefully i can make up for next year on the wedding day, k Za? Sha?

Am in my 3rd week of forensics and legal medicine. Presented a blunt trauma case of road accidents. Went dr. G came in and requested us to present after he had just maimed the group before us, i was quite speechless. But minor referential mistakes aside, he thought we gave an overall good presentation. Yeay! But Dr.G wouldn't be Dr.G if he wasn't critical of every word, every detail and every photo that we showcased.

"Who do you think you are?"

Remember that everything in forensics is evidence-based. Always remember that when giving a statement, an objective or eve subjective point of view.

Duly noted Doc. Hopefully tomorrow goes well.

Saturday, 24 October 2009

Bite Marks

Today, in the forensics lab, we were acquainted with my supervisor, dr.Peter S. and he gave us a brief lecture on bite marks, the importance of superimposing the coorect size and shape in identifying perpetrators of law. It was interesting, especially when we started discussing the famous investigation of Ted Bundy.

In Forensics and Legal Medicine, we don't just do autopsies, although in CSI its pretty much rules the show; but we investigate. And study, and deduce our assumptions in a crime scene and point fingers at the assailant; all within reasonable evidence as proof.

Are you getting the picture?

I always thought it'd be easy to watch an autopsy, or even get my hand dirty in doing one. But in truth, touching, feeling and smelling a dead body, a fresh corpse, and cutting them open is a whole other level.

I hope InsyaAllah, i will never have to go through one as the body lying cold on the table.
Its something i would never wish on anyone.

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Who turned out the lights?

I've been updating the blog as my own personal Travelogue. No idea if it helps you if ever you want to go where i went. But jus thought i'd slip this in. Am back in Makassar for a week now.

I am currently in Forensics department which sounds cool. But in reality; we're all just waiting for a dead body to turn up for us to investigate. Now isn't that a BAD wish?

I had fun coming back and seeing old friends, going out to check out the 'theme park' but really, i only felt i was back on this isolated island when they started the power cuts AGAIN.

9.00 am
"Oops, no power for the next 3 hours people!" when the screen and LCD shuts down at the forensics lab.

"I'm home!...wait..what the? Aaaaah"

"Okay, time to go to...AAAAAh. Who turned out the lights?? Dang you mosquitos!"

Welcome back to Makassar.

Oooom, hot hot heat

Luang Prabang, Laos

A vip bus ride the next day, that took about 7 hours over the hills brought us into the UNESCO World Heritage site of Luang Prabang. We left Vang Vien at about 9.30 am and arrived approximately in the central bus station of L.P at 4.30pm. A quick 10 minute tuk-tuk ride brought us right into the main street where guest-houses were aplenty to choose from.

(Tip: When descending the bus at the central station, you will be surrounded by various guesthouse "agents" offering you their best price if you follow them. Keep in mind that the guesthouses are literally next to each other; so if you do follow an "agent" and are not satisfied with the room; you can always walk into the next one. So what we did was get a brochure with a map of the area and just dive into the main street. You'll have plenty of choices so relax and just haggle away).

The guest-houses were all clean and simple. So we un-packed, cleaned ourselves up and started to head out for dinner. In any asian city/ town, tourist pot; there shall always be something similar or akin to a night market; and Luang Prabang is no exception. The Night Market in downtown Luang Prabang, which is open roughly from 5.30pm till 10pm is a treasure trove of scarves, hand-painted artworks, beutiful hand-crafted linens and accessories.

I went crazy running my hand on all the tradiotinal skirts and colourful scarves looking for one i'd spare my USD for. Bangles and bracelets as well as figurines of Buddhist worship were also among the many crafts on sale. Laos Kip, and US Dollars are mainly in use although some may accept Thai Baht if you have them to spare.
 But as we walked through the market, most stalls and both sell the same wares and our churning, growling tummies were in need of serious fuel before we could go on.
Luckily for us, Ro found a vegetarian buffet vendor right smack in the middle of the market. 5000 kip for a plate of food. There were spring rolls for 1000 kip a piece, but who would mind? All you can eat, and cheap too. We indulged, had more than one serving before we moved on to what some might say the national sport of Luang prabang.
(Note: As Luang Prabang is famous for its many temples and holy status, it is by law that all establishments of bussiness should be closed by 11.00pm; except for the bowling alley which gets to open till 2.00 am. Disco bowl maybe?)

The next day, began with breakfast at a nearby cafe, called Joma which serves a big portion of delectable goods for a good price. The setting and ambience were reminiscent of a cozy western cafe and the menu was filled with choices for all taste buds. We tried getting tickets to fly into Hanoi that morning itself, but the planning and searching, and haggling prices with tour agencies sucked us dry of energy before we agreed to cool ourselves from the scorching sun at the famed Kwang Si waterfalls; an hour's drive from the town of Luang Prabang.

Driving through rice paddy fields and villages to get there reminded me of driving through KB, my very own village; where everything was still and green. Kwang Si waterfalls was a good choice, the water was cooling, there was another swing in one of the swimming area and the place was cleaner than the last waterfall i came across (okay, Makassar has so much to catch up to!) Just sitting on one of the rocks with my feet in the water was good enough for me.
After much sun-bathing and water-paddling, we rallied and went back into town, to explore the temples and Luang Prabang's National Museum.

Despite of such good intentions, i did not get to see the temples and museum  untill the next day, which incidentally was when Ro parted ways with us to see the rest of Laos on his own.

The National Museum was; i guess in a way was interesting? It explained essentially the history (duh!) and legendary stories of the kingdom through out the ages. But i guess i was hoping for something more as the best thing in the museum to me were the paintings, and the stories it told.

To finish of our stay, with one extra day, we took a boat trip out to see the Pak Ou Caves (with upper and lower caves and a whole lot of stairs in between these two) and a nearby village called 'Lao-Lao village' or in other words; whisky village. Where home-made Lao whisky is made and processed before it is sent all over the city. Scorpions and cobras were the meaty choice to put in a laos whisky bottle. Too strong?

3 days in Luang Prabang was enough for me. I prefered its streets and general feel to Vang Vien; but alas we had places to go and Vietnam to see. I do miss the fruitshakes though.

Pink Dragonfruit just doesn't taste as good on its own.:)

Monday, 5 October 2009

Happy and fun for you!

Vang Vien, Laos

After the gruelling 6 hour drive, Vang Vien looked to bring promises of a better adventure; and yes it sure did. (For me anyways). We arrived somewhere between 5 -6pm and decided to hunt for a guesthouse to suit our needs (cheap and definitely worth it). Ro seemed to have the most fun haggling a price we thought we'd never get. But about 5 guest-houses later, we found one that accepted the offer. Having a vegetarian on the team was a good thing for my sister and I, as it made it easy to agree on a place to eat. We were both piscatarians on the trip

due to concerns of Halal and non-Halal meat;
being Muslims; and the other two guys were just great enough to go along with anything.
Little did we know in the first cafe we settled on, what Vang Vien had to offer was a lot more than just "normal food". We found an item on the menu that was scripted in bold and a tad larger font size than the rest of the other items; which was:

"Excuse me, what is SPACE Pizza?" we queried innocently
"Oh, yess, yes, you want? Special, happy, err...Marijuana?" the waiter bumbled
Glances were exchanged and we laughed.

Ah, and so it began.

Another part of the menu was titled" "FUN AND HAPPY FOR YOU"
and beneath it were food items with the word special in it:
1. Special
2. Special Omelette

3. Special fruit juice
I found it amusing.

The waiter was just so eager to please and make us all "Happy".
No, we didn't get any special items. Although an order of baguette for the table became a bit confusing for the owner when he came out with red bull, whisky and a bucket for us.


"no! No...Baguette, baguette, Bread?"
"oh!, mistake..sorry." He was a nice man, too bad he wasted the drinks on us teetotalers and had to offer the next table for a bucket of alcohol which was accidentally opened for us.

And after a hearty non-special laden meal, we explored the area of Vang vien and saw that the 'Bucket' was the major attraction or choice of beverage for all the cafe's lining the streets. And this place, to me was filled with tourists, tall, short, accents, slangs all enjoying the slower pace of life chilling in one of the cafe's watching reruns of Friends, or Family Guy. Street vendors were in almost every corner selling roti (which were pancakes) and souvenirs. Although i think the locals were thinking we were one of them just travelling with some tourists too.

pancakes. yummy nutella banana pancakes

Vang Vien

Swings and Tubing down the River

One of the major attraction of Vang Vien, was its tubing and caving expeditions. As you walk the streets of this small town, ads for caving tours and transportational services would greet you in between the cafe's. And Tubing, was one thing you would HAVE to do. Otherwise, all you do is lounge around in a cafe all day.

So we set out to the tubing post, where a life jacket and one tube would cost you $ 22 USD each, and of course, you'd want a dry bag to put all your gear in while you traverse the waters, and that costs $ 6 USD.
After registering your number, names and tubes; we were driven up the river on a tuk tuk with some like-minded travellers: an Irish, and 2 Dutch gals.

As you reach the starting point, a view of a small tiki bar greets you; and standing next to the river is a towering tree with some nifty mechanics for us tourists to swing and jump from. In my mind's eye, the height of the swing was maybe about 3 floors? i couldn't be sure but yes. I wanted to jump along with the others

Seeking approval from the older sibling wasn't so tough, she wanted to proove she was cool about it and hide her worry. i wasn't a very strong swimmer, No wait. I wasn't even a GOOD swimmer. but yes, i jumped.

Adrenaline rush was AWESOME. i felt i was falling. the height made an even better adrenaline rush then anyhting else. But the dismount into the water was a big splash of surprise for me.

I took in too much water, i was disoriented, and i was drifting, FAST.
I saw the shore, swam for it (or later they would say, did i even swim?), saw it getting close, swallowed more water then the shore was getting further. wait, what? And my head was back under the water. I heard yelling.

And Dan pulled me out of the river. Uh-oh.
Did i drown?
i wouldn't admit it. but yes, i was close to drowning.
And THAT, was the highlight of the day.

regardless, i caught my breath, thanked my life-saver ( it was quite awkward. i didn't know what to do with myself)
and rejoined the group in the water for tubing.

the swing

Bobbing tubes and life-jackets

One might say i was non-chalant about the jump as i treaded water again right after, but this time, i had a life-jacket on. J and Dan made sure i kept it on.

Sunday, 4 October 2009

Flying into Laos

Having just been back from a one week trip from Laos and Vietnam, it feels a tad surreal for most of my trip was spent either on a bus, or a boat getting from one place to the other. Just as well that i will be travelling back to Indonesia in 2 days, i'd rather write and share my experience on this Blog while all is fresh and the memory of it is simply reveling to be released.

Vientiane, Laos

Arriving in Vientien airport at 9 am was a good start. It was early, sun was up, weather not too hot to travel in and we at least had a day to explore the small town. Little did we know (my sister and I) that our travel companions had other plans. The airport was small, employees spoke English, and as you'd find in every other airports; a fair share of taxi-drivers outside that will try and rip you off. For a taxi-ride into town would cost you $ 3 USD per person whereas if you walked further down from the airport and hired a tuk-tuk, they would get you into town for just 2 USD a ride. With a heavier backpack than she can handle, my sister offered to pay for the taxi.

There's a funny story in here as just when we were unloading our bags into the cab, a tall, blonde caucasian guy (accents can be hard to recognise unless it was french..) came up and asked if he could just share the taxi with us. The driver seemed to refuse but the stranger made the internationally understood "money" sign (where the index and thumb finger is rubbing together?) , and so he relents and seats our new travel partner up-front.

The driver didn't speak any English, so all we could do was point and repeat the name of our designated guest-house over and over again, hoping that each time we say it, the pronounciation would be different and he's know which guesthouse it was. Took him 10 minutes to get us there. efficient.

Our travel companion however, jumped down from the cab, said he was getting ciggarettes and dissapeared. Neither my sister, nor I waited to see if he came back to pay the cab-driver. I doubted it. he dashed pretty quickly. Anyway, we met up with the rest of our travel buddies; L, D and Ro. And was clued in on the bus trip to Vang Vien.J and Ro at Nizam restaurant for Roti's

As the bus ride was scheduled at 10 am, we headed out for some breakfast, which consisted of roti's and thosais for our benefit. Although we've been constantly reminded how time or speed is of no essence here, we waited..and waited for the bus to show up before we boarded on: a mini van (bus broke down somehwere according to our guide..) an hour later than planned. It was roughly a 7 hour ride down every pot-hole imaginable, with me flyng off my seat unto others more than once. Hitting my head on the railing was a repetitive move every few turns.

L showing us the Mighty Mekong River

But thankfully, we arrived in one piece in the sleepy hippy-ish tourist town of vang vien.

The broken down bus that doubles as a clothes hanger

Sunday, 13 September 2009

12 months

I am gregariously happy.

I officially finished my 1st year of clinical education. two days ago.

And Alhamdulillah, everything has been almost smooth, a few bumps but no brakes were involved.

Sure, i wished i got straight A's but really, its the experience and skill that matters right?

Dermatology exam was nerve-wrecking on friday.

I was pretty sure i answered it all well, but of-course, the 3 examiners hid and masked their expressions trying to confuse you and not aide you in any way.


I just want to go home now :)

Raya awaits!

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

A singular effect

I am a loner

Mostly. Not always. Often these days. But always have been.

I get these questions often when I hang out with friends, be it old or new ones.

Even people I just met.

"So, you're single? Not seeing anyone?"

I reply with a shake of the head and my infamous smile. Trying to escape the incoming array of questions.

"Dated? I mean, last relationship?..Oh. never?"

Again, I just smile. I knew it was coming.

"But why?"

If only I could answer that myself.

And then; usually to make me feel less like a loser and more embarrassed for asking in the first place, the questioner would then list down all my 'positively good qualities'

"But you're pretty…awesome!"

Thank you very much.

I feel so much better now.

Am i? really? Awesome? Gee.


I have been single for all 23 of my years now. Of course you can't count the first 12..that'd be just wrong. J

And I am happy. So why should it matter?

And no. despite what some people want to believe, I am NOT a Lesbian.

I love my fair share of male specimens. You know, the incredibly hot Hollywood ones. Aside from some old real-life crushes.

It just so happens that luck is not on my side. Yet.

Always the good ones are taken.

And I am not one to hope or break up a relationship or be the spare "just-in-case" chicks like some guys do hope.

I just want someone for me.


Maybe I'm picky or choosy or lazy?

But I think that's only said for those who actually do have options. Innit?

Besides, even though my friends say sometimes I can be a bit "macho" and that I'm always independent,

I still want someone to take care of me.

And besides, I'm still too young to be tied up, I think.

There's still the whole WORLD to be seen ;)


I guess I should be thankful nobody's asking about being married yet. Hehe. Phew. Sorry sis.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009


oh so penat. lapar.


Sunday, 30 August 2009

saya dan roti canai

I was missing the soft famous dough-made 'roti' of home.

and since my neighbours didn't show any signs of making any for buka puasa this year, i went out in search of thus 'roti'.

to my delight, news spread that there was a boy, selling roti telur and roti canani next to carefour all the way here in makassar, freshly tossed and readily poured with malaysian style curry too!

Just so you know, curry in Makassar is not the curry we love way back home. It is different. more bland, less spices, more water than coconut milk. so yes, it makes a big difference.

no photos of the pahang-born makassar "mamak" though, he was quite the shy boy. haha.

Roti telur dan kari sedap

Friday, 28 August 2009


he shall get what he deserves

The Life & Times

Am sitting in the on-call room, eating out of a styrofoam box- our free meals to 'break fast'.

We're lucky; during this holy month, the faculty as well as the hospital staff makes the day go by much easier, food for sahur and break-fast is provided (heavy healthy meals with not-so healthy desert) free of charge, daily work hours are cut back whereas we usually report at the clinics at 7.30 am, it has been pushed back to 8.00 am. Yes, on call hours are still the same,

afternoon shift- 2pm-9pm
night shift - 9pm-7am

but at least in dermatology departments, we very RARELY receives emergency skin traumas in the middle of the night. And as I am now only in my 2nd week, i only get 3 shifts a week. Phew..what a big difference that is from those never-ending 10 shifts back in internal med. I rarely saw my own bed then.

We also get free wireless internet access from this small air-conditioned on-call room which i am making full use of by reading up on the latest goss (hahahaha), movie reviews (????) and facebooking every few seconds.

Stop. i'm just like everybody else.

i escape my day to day life by writing here.

of course, real life is not so bad. :)

but it is called an escape for a reason innit?

Monday, 24 August 2009

Camera Owning

a forwarded message i got in my inbox reads: WHy you SHOULD always carry a camera...
Don't tell me you didn't smile or let out an "Awwwww.."

I know i did. Cheers ;)

p/s: thank you sis. This made me smile today.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

A book i have yet to read.

I wonder when the next installment of True Blood is coming out...ahh..
I am so into Eric.

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Roast n Cupcakes

Had a fun well-rounded program-filled SUnday!

Bangun pagi - well, 9.30 am was the earliest hour i could get those peepers open, finally swept the floor of my cancer-like hair loss mess :P and the mopped the floor (yay! bangga..haha), re arranged the furniture, and took out the old-carpet that i had put away for over a year in the storage room.

Hmm. with the hosue and my study table spick n span, i tackled the makings of my newly perfected chocolate cupcake! yes, i know how the 'cupcake craze' has taken over the world..but i have yet to master the makings of a purr-fect one..according to MY OWN tastebuds that it..

In addition to prepping the stuffing for my roast chicken dinner.
Mind you i added everything in excess amount because- when i cook without tasting anything...(due to fasting...yes, i AM fasting :P )i was so afraid it might turn out bland.

And voila, with the Azan ringing from the nearby mosque, we dug into the...yes, tasteless chicken ravenously. Ok, I thought it was tasteless, but my two companions, who would not dare to hurt MY feelings said it was just the right amount of..bland. hahaha.

Cupcakes - however sweet n chocolatey. Just the way i had imagined it :P

Saturday, 22 August 2009

30 days of f.e.a.s.t

Ramadhan is here, i guess my time should be better put to use in typing up an honest wish for all of my friends and family to forgive me for all my wrongdoings. Whether it was intentionally or otherwise.

Hope each one of you have a great month in relishing the good deeds. :)

Selamat Berpuasa everyone.

Post Modern Routine

I got into Cardio on time. Finished on time. Just to reestablish the connection from my last post if any of you were wondering. (Right, i'm probably just talking to myself..anyhoo)

Finally got a chance to go online while i'm on duty! yes..and on the first day of Fasting..(do you have any idea how many things i'm craving right now?) I am now in an empty on-call room with internet access...and ...6 hours to kill. Right. :) So what do i do? update my blog.

I wish i had more interesting pieces to write. sure, Cardio exam with Prof.Peter was superb, i got an A for my Internal Med exam (Hooray! how many tears did i cry before i knew that one.huhu) and now am going into my 2nd week of Dermatology posting. Updated enough?


Been feeling more than a little homesick lately too. Must be the weather.
Sunny, sunny scorching days on end.
Can't wait to just be home.
Away from here.

oh yeah. Biggest regret this month? Missing my bestbud's engagement. Sha, i'm sorry i couldn
t make it. Your wedding, i'll be there. Promise. :D

Sunday, 12 July 2009


I finally gave my presentation about half an hour ago. Phewwwww! Sighs. after being dragged around for one week..just because. At least i didn't have to read with dr.S. my head i think he'd give me a great discussion afterwards, however i can see that he was busy too.

Anyhoo- am here in Obgyn dept to check on my next deprtment spot: Cardiology which, i have booked since i dunno, March? and guess what?? Stupid site is under construction and everything..i mean everything is ERASED.
What the he...???

I am happy. yet pissed. and frustrated and panicked. I'm supposed to report to Cardio this friday, and before hand, i have to pick an examiner for Internal Med. this Wednesday...ahhh...okay, not pick. i mean, the chief will vote which examiner each of us gets? and the bigwigs are coming this week. ( wipes dripping sweat from forehead)

what me worry??

ok. cool. calm. breathe dee. breathee.. there's just SOOOO much more to read and understand and practice before i go for exam.

please please please God, get me Prof. Halim? hehehehe.
who knows, he might go easy on me for exam...

Sighs, i am out of breath.

Update later. toodles. need energy to scream...-

Monday, 22 June 2009

There's this thought nagging at the back of my head that i don't update my blog often,
sometimes a sense of unending frustration that i'm not creative enough to make my page ever more AWESOME. hehe.

Then again, i only do write significant events, or maybe a guilty pleasure or two; of a more personal nature.

My built-in competitiveness leaks out when i cruise through my fave reads. :) Envy, wistful maybe.

But today? i just want to hear Adele playing in the backgroud while i work out the cases i have to present and discuss with my Doctor by the end of the week.

Friends, options?
is ITP better than Insulinoma? :D

I need HELP!

Thursday, 18 June 2009


Just a quick shout out,

Happy birthday daddy Dearest ;) glad your trip over to sunny canterburry was wholesome and enjoyable, and you had your birthday celebration on AIR! love you lots and may Allah S.W.T bless you with great health always. Selalu merindui mu .

Also, to mz Didi Harun, happy 24th! i missed bowling. wish i was there but shall see you soon.

that's it folks. have to go back to the hospital. hrm..still have 3 weeks left in internal medcine. wish me luck :D

Au revoir!

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Things i'll never say

i get sick of having to turn on the tv and keep watching the same trash they feed us on tv these days.

And over here moreover, the maincourses comes in more than 5 viewing times a day of : infotainment. Every juicy celebrity gossip you never need to know about the life and times of the Indoensia celebrities.

Among the biggest news: Manohara

Get a clue?

i have to live here, study here and treat people here when they judge me and my country based on a woman's supposed mistreatment by her husband.

She has my pity if any of it is true, but going to the media?

It's bad enough we students get asked questions about the abuse of I.maids in Malaysia, now about the royal family as well?

don't even get me started on the Ambalat issue.

Nobody is perfect.
"To err is human" after all.

Friday, 29 May 2009

Deserters tale

Leaving for Maros again..for my luar negri posting (no, we don't require a passport)..

on a brighter note, i was there for a week in at least i know where everything IS. Sort of. hmm..

Sis, be strong. it shall all turn out well ;) next week shall be interesting. and challenging for you. love ya.
were you contemplating something?

Thursday, 21 May 2009

Just like the cookie crumbles

We made cookies! Sha n I, and we knocked off the electricity for the whole floor. Sorry..though we did kept it on the downlow when we met up with the rest of the residents downstairs.hehehe
and very sorry for limiting the allowed amount of photos for u to upload. u know why :P. Shhhhhhh...

Oops. ovenku teramat kuat untuk apartment temanku ini.

Today is Dayat's birthday, happy 23rd! so, since i had a lot of stuff in the fridge about to go bad..

i made chicken fajita/enchilada's! haha. For the boys next door, my own lunch..even gave away a few to Elango who is having exams tomorrow with Prof, good luck. Though the combo of my fave mexican dish was a tad dry i hope they enjoyed it. I can't seem to find even a shadow of sour cream over here although we do have an endless supply of avocadoes for some guacamole.

Just in case i don't get a chance to go online n wish her, Happy Birthday to Asma and Anggi as well, respectively on the 22nd and 23rd. Cheers mates!

Photos of cookies here to see.. oh, and my blue streaks too.


choc chip cookie anyone?

Mixing with style.

cookie-dough ; yum

blue blue blue: hahahah

camera shy. i'm lovin it :)

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Big Blue Lagoon

I have streaks.

of blue hair sticking into my eyes..strays of the highlights i had done.

about a week ago.

hehehe. call me crazy.

i think i'm rockin it.

Friday, 1 May 2009

Strangers in the Outfield

Remember when we were growing up, how our parents would tell us,
just as they send us off to school, whether on a school bus, or driving us to the school gates themselves; they would remind us,

"Don't speak to strangers, alright?"

And' we'd nod, understanding strangers meant people you don't know personally but never fully taking into consideration what a stranger is connected with.

I consider myself a polite, educated and friendly person. And so if i do bump into a stranger, whether on the streets, on an airplane, or eating out; and they inititate a hello, i would reply with a smile or maybe another greeting.

Sure, you first have to be able to pick the situation in which to give a response. If i was feeling rather down and moody or perhaps the 'stranger' emitted some bad vibes i might just look up and decline to respond.

But as i said, being maybe a little too friendly i usually respond in a positive or affirmative sign.
I made another friend on my flight back to Makassar today. And yes, my friends raised their eyebrows when i shared the information. And so he is french, and had so much stories to tell on our 3-hour flight that i enjoyed the company. But because i learned my lesson from the scare in Christchurch, i ended the acquaintance at the airport, although i initially did offer to drop him off somewhere in town just because he seemed lost. Bad judgement call?

Now this wasn't my only 'friendly' encounter with a stranger as i had mentioned, as i have been flying on my own for the last few years all over, i do tend to make 'friends'. I met a German Pro-Skater on my flight to Christchurch, a Japanese and Kiwi couple on my flight to Melbourne, and the list goes on.

But, it was on the streets of Christchurch city that i regretted my respond to a stranger. He appeared friendly, we spoke of architecture and education as well as the history of Christchurch. But when he followed me into the Museum that i had started to sense the bad vibes.
Being an outsider, a tourist perhaps i misjudged myself thinking he was merely a friendly samaritan wanting to guide a tourist around. And when he lay his hands on me, i froze.

When it was just on my shoulder, i managed to simply shrug it off, maybe he didn't realise his hand was there? maybe this is just a normal thing over here. Then it came again and moved lower, and lower and i knew i wasn't imagining it. Alarms were ringing in my head. This isn't right. I have no idea who this guy is!

I pushed him away and ran off. I wasn't thinking right, or i would've gone to the museum guards. But i went for the bathroom instead, Washed my face. Thought it over and peered outside. he was gone. I wanted to report it to the guards but since he wasn't around i decided i didn't have to.

Of course, walking back into the city i wish i had, because who knew if he had been waiting for me outside? and he was big and tall.

Needless to say, i didnt speak to anyone else the rest of the day. And the rest of my trip, my conversations were reserved for my tour guide and tour mates. I was told off though when i got home,

'Didn't your mum ever told you not to speak to strangers?"

I could only nod in defense. Who knew?

My only advice is women, who travel on their own should always be careful of their surroundings. I never thought it would happen to me. but it did. And i am now more aware of violation than before. It isn't right.

I hope we all can learn a thing or two from my experience.

Monday, 27 April 2009

September Rain

One day left in town. I put up this photo because we took this not even over a year ago in September during Eid Mubara'. And i loved it. WE were a complete family again. maybe this year it would be the same. InsyaAllah.

Saturday, 25 April 2009

Riders of Rohan!


Any LOTR fan knows that the great trilogy, its movie was shot in over a 100 locations on both islands of New Zealand, and Christchurch, or Mt.Sunday to be exact, was where the kingdom of Rohan was built; literally.

Of course, nothing stands on the beautiful rock this day, except for holes on its rocky ruins and remnants of bolts stuck to it as proof of construction. here i share photos of my hassle-free LOTR tour of Edoras. Complete with a Know-it all tour guide (love ya rex!), yummy lunch, and great scenery

Dorothy and I battling it out for middle earth ;)

sisters, Liz and Christina were the Eowyn's of our trip.

The hills did look short from where i was standing, but no!

As my sis would say, "You've arrived in New Zealand!", gorgeous lake clearwater