Friday, 26 December 2008


I am next door, in a huge house, yes..not my own..finally able to get online for a teeny bit of leisure plus work.

references galore is what i should be cruising-or better suited term is surfing for. but i thought i'd drop in and write a bit. its 2.30pm. i have 6 hours before i have, 5 hours before i have to leave for my my on-call shift at the neuro dept. for the next 24hrs. ahh. i can hardly wait.

sure, i would like to share the few experiences, funny 7 sad moments all rolled up in one day under 15 minutes of life changing actions. it's a great tribulation of feelings when you come in to see a patient whom had attack of stroke, unable to move, speak or even open his eyes..just look at you, smile his/ her crooked smile and say "Thank you."

Of course, i wasn't the dr. that treated or signed his prescriptions..but i was the junior doctor that accepted him/her and his/her family when they first came.

The rest of the days aren't as great..after a while you get stuck in a rut of routine work that you have no identifiable feelings for some patients. or so i hear my residents say...its dissapointing. thinking if you'd turn out like that.

Okay. i'm getting lost in translation already.

work is never done.

Untill then,


Putting on a smile everyday is tiring.

Telling everyone you’re fine and dandy when you have no idea how you are – even worse.

So how do I fix it? Am I depressed? Seriously?


I have so much going for me, things that some people can only dream of. But why am I not HAPPY?

Yes. I get lonely. I live in a house alone. I eat by myself. I study on my own. And watch dvd’s in the comfort of my own home ALL by myself.

Don’t get me wrong. I call up the occasional friends to go out, n have fun or just ring em up to hang out when they’re free. Maybe I don’t make enough effort to socialize.

Now? It rains. No It pours, 24 hours a day and it won’t stop. Everybody’s staying in.

The house floods when I’m not around. So I stay to make sure it doesn’t happen.

Someone told me they think I’m strong.

Me? Strong? Yeah- cos I am independent, I do everything on my own. In my defense, I don’t really know whom I can call if ever I need help.


Maybe it’s the immediate change of environment. Just 2 days back I was home, with my family and yes eventhough it was raining all day there as well; I didn’t feel this bad. I wasn’t alone.

I’m just sad,and sick.

Yep, coming down with the flu and hating it.

Damp.moldy.and cold. –that’s my address.


Thursday, 25 December 2008

nerves nerves nervess

will update soon. time is limited.


help. me.

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Food oh glorious Food !

i shall miss eating soo much good food from home. *sniff*

The baking process of mini choc-chip banana-fana muffins

Cakes, cakes and more cakes

IKEA's Daim cake

Home made lompat-tikam

ZEN's : chocolate gateoux

My birthday cupcakes from Naurah! (+wondermilk.)

Big Hearty Meals

there is more.. to come. :)

Picnics, Karaokes and Baked GoOds

Picnic at Lake Gardens

The 2 Bday gals: Adeq + Mel

Carlo's Canteena : yummy beef enchiladas This is my car: Extremeeeee :) haha

Another year is ending, and although i was lucky enough to get a 2 week break to fly back and celebrate some year end holiday-cheer with my family and friends; i'd have to say that i'm feeling a bit down still.

It's the whole leaving, goodbyes and the knowledge that once i step on that plane, and later turn the keys of my front door back in Makassar, no one will be home, waiting for me.

No annoying kids running around asking me to take them out.
No more screams or even tears shed from a harmless sibling wrestle-match.
No one to wake me up in the wee hours of the morning just to watch football.

You get my drift. but then again, i do know that if i have all that to worry about way over there, it probably won't be easy to finish my studies by 2010.

In 2 weeks; i have had a blast. Baking cookies, muffins and yes, eating loads and loads of cuppacakes (thank you Naurah ;) There was that lovely picnic at Lake Gardens (yes mum, thank you for the map...i...wouldn't have made it there without you. hehe)
which ended at kopitiam.
Back to back karaoke sessions at Redbox?! Oh the songs we picked. The windbreaker wearing rapper of the 90's, haha. those were good times.

Ahem. Now, on to the serious stuff.

Next department: N-E-U-R-O-L-O-G-Y

Am i prepared? Heck, i'm far from prepared.



Just in case i won't have time later to type this in. here's my New Year's resolutions: 2009

  • Finish Level 1 & half of Level 2 Clinicals!
  • Travel to Europe/ Asia (i keep putting this more!) in between my breaks
  • Be more thrifty with my monthly allowances..
  • Stop eating so much junk...ok.maybe reduce junk food intake (i need to practice what i preach..haha)
  • Recycle, Reuse, and be more Environmental friendly! (the earth needs our help)
  • Read read and read more books. (I am never as knowledgable as i ought to be.)
  • Cook more, talk less and sleep whenever possible. (yes yes yes.)

Saturday, 6 December 2008

Oven mitts


I'm always up for a facelift -of my blog that is. Though there are some link errors here and there. gonna try to fix it soon.

Raya haji is around the corner. 2 days to go. wish everyone was here.