Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Oh Baby Baby

The lyrics to a certain song of Ms.Spears probably springs to mind eh?

Babies. They have a certain scent to them. After a while you kind of miss it when its gone.

Perinatology was brief and eventful, I had 8 newborns under my care for a week. And I lost one. I had tried with all my best efforts to avoid losing one,

But it had to happen. That was last week, my 7th week in Paeds. Total accumulation of patients I have lost to God and fate was 7.

I remember each one vividly. How can you say I don't care? I do. I never stopped caring. I just have to move on more quickly than others. Because there are other lives for me to care for.

I am now in my 8th week. I pray no one gets lost this time



Shades of gray seem to color my entries recently I think

But I am in no foul mood at all.

Weird. I'm smiling, from ear to ear


And no, its not because the week is ending,

Not because my exams are growing nigh,

Not because I'm going to fly home soon,

Not because I've expanded my waistline,

Not because its not flooding anymore;

Just because.

I like smiling.

Smiling makes me happy.

And yes, I like to know that I sparkle when I smile.




Things to do by 27thMarch:

  • Study and excel in my exam!
  • Renew Study Visa!
  • Renew SKLD!
  • Renew STNK mobil!
  • Apply for Re-Entry permit
  • Buy Tiket to Melbourne/perth/Bangkok/Christchurch (cannot choose yet)
  • Move from old house
  • Pay Bills Bills Bills
  • Island Trippin in Makassar :P – I need to see the beach and swim my stress away. Huhu





Friday, 6 March 2009

Fly me to the moon

I made a booking. its written in ink. and paid for. Heeeeee

i am taking that trip. Soon

Passport to Insanity


DAY 1:

D: Erh, hey guys, so what do we do here? How many patients do we accept per day eh?

F: Oh, it s pretty basic gals, maybe 2 or 3, at most 5 or 6. But you do have time to sleep, eat and finish up your proposal for tomorrow.

D: Proposal? Tomorrow? I haven't typed anything yet, Who's the Supervisor here?

<Knock on the door>

Nurse: Doc, there's a new patient here for you from ER.

F: Go ahead Dee, we're leaving. Good luck!


Nurse: Doc, ER called, there's 2 more patients waiting because all the wards are full.

D: what? That makes 11 patients just for today!.*%$#@


Day 2: 5.30 am

D: Shooot, I fell asleep! I haven't followed up my patients!

45 patients later

D:Phew, all lookin fine, go for that shower..


Nurse: Doc! OBGYN called, there's a ceasarian goin on. Need u there A.S.A.P.

D: I just..?

Nurse: Doc! Your patient, he's seizing!

D:Huh? Ok..ok..


Day 3: 2.00 am

D; I finished my proposal! to zzz..

<knock> <knock>

D: I am not here! Go away!

<knocks stronger>

Nurse: Doc, theres 2 new babies here in perinatology, suspected tetanus, he's seizing!

D: grumble..grumble..


D: Okay..zzzzz

Nurse: Doc! Apneu! Apneu! He's not breathing!

D: Ambu Bag! Oxygen please! Crap, he's cyanotic. 5 litre! HR: 60? Compress!


And so there it is; a brief picture of how my days were. 8 days of wonderful experiences, more bad than good, but educational none the less; in MAROS.

Things you go through here, you'll never get anywhere else.

No residents, only one attending specialist available from 9 am - 2 pm. Above those hours; the patients life are all in my hands. Take THAT responsibility. For a medical student..that is big. Because I knew NOTHING.

Sure, I did my best; and still I did lose more than one patient. 3 babies, new born premature babies, one was as tiny as 400gm whom fought strongly to live as long as 2 days.She outlived a 1500gm baby that only lasted 4 hours after birth.

All of them I stayed with till the end. I wished I tried harder. Then again, who knew what was going to happen eh?



After 8 days in Maros – phew (I survived!) the nightmare continued as I was again posted abroad (anywhere outside the main teaching hospital) for another restless week. So the drive home from Maros wasn't a drive home at all, more like a drive past home towards the other end of the state border to another hospital.In L.B (Labuang Baji), the sight of the infusion pole is bad news. Full capacity of the paediatric ward was 80 patients and GOD, there were more than 80 kids when I got there.

Taking a deep breath as we ascend the staircase to what most medic stdents here consider the 2nd hell, we joined our fellow junior dr.s clerking patients in. In Maros, there were only 2 of us to handle everyone. Here, there were 10. And was I glad.

DAY 1: Condition: ALIVE, breathing and going strong. 'Come on guys! Chop chop. We need to get this done! Sheesh. Who needs sleep?! We cn DO this!

Da2 2: ALIVE, breathing and STILL strong! " I'll take 2 wards, sheesh. I'm done from 5 am. You're not DONE? Alright, I'll help out.."

Day 3: WEAK, breathing hungry : "What? More patients? But we have NO SPACE. You hear me? NO SPACE? This table? U want, THIS table? Okay.."

Day 4: WEAK, Sleepy: "No more..i have enough patients.. u take him, no…u take him..what? me? Fine.."

DAY 5: WEAK, barely standing. "Eh..fever, chills…epileptic….zzzzzzz…oh..wait..rhinitis..zzzzzz"


Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Ice picks and Snowstorms

i feel the cold. no winds. no snow. but still cold.

i need to fly away. and then come back another day.

- 3 weeks left..3 weeks..