Thursday, 26 June 2008

Leaving so soon

I met my KKN group mates today.

one denstistry student. 2 from nursing. 4 from community healthcare. and 4 of us from the medical faculty. awkward at first. there were only 2 men among us, wayan and ichwan; my fellow classmates.

Thankfully my supervisor turned out to be a very trustworthy maternal figure of a pharmacist. Who gave me the greenlight to arrive 2 days ater than the rest for i have to sit for my final (yes..always a final) acupuncture theory paper on the day of the BIG trip.

Found out as well that the village we are posted to is not too far from the main town. And the best news i could accept was that the toilet shall be indoors. Alhamdulillah!

Don't know if i would have the time to pop in and write a few words before i do leave this Wednesday as my days are now full with seminars, my acupuncture classes and skill labs. Besides having only 2 nights to study and then find a car to drive us out of town. Phew. hectic. hectic.

Will jot down a little something if i get to return before the 7 week of posting ends.

Pray for me!

Flowers for Algernon

I finally finished this book after a long month of putting it off at the beginning of page 16; of course it was all for a good cause. Had too many exams close knitted week after week- and yes. Alhamdulillah I passed it all! (Do notice I dutifully exchanged ‘aced’ with ‘passed’ because I have no idea what my grade actually is.)

And how I feel for Charlie.

Even innocent little Algernon. Without the flowers on his grave.

The inexplicable truth is brilliantly written, explained and argued on limitations of human intelligence.

We search for it, attain it; and yet we still do fear it.

Why is it; in most of our minds the image of brilliance is one of Einstein with his unruly hair and crazy eyes, or poor old Isaac Newton? Even the ‘western idealism’ of smarts in interpreted into what we all know as the skinny, bespectacled kid a.k.a nerds.

Those aren’t the only greats of knowledge; you and I both know it to be true.

The journey Charlie takes from being a mentally retarded human being, well-loved and reasonably liked (or so he perceived), into a brilliant, knowledge fueled curious man. All in his own words and experiences.
Easily identifying all his past faults and mistakes in his mentally challenged perception into his newly educated, and normally functioning life he loses his friends, job and his trust and adoration of man kind.

I would suggest you pick it up and open your eyes to what lies beneath 

“What is wrong with a person wanting to be more intelligent, to acquire knowledge, and understand him and the world?” –Charlie Gordon

“Charlie, it’s not meant for man to know more than was given to him to know by the Lord in the first place. The fruit of that tree was forbidden to man. Charlie, if you done something you weren’t supposed to- you know, like with the devil or something-maybe it isn’t too late to get out of it. Maybe you could go back to being the good simple man you was before.”

E:\pics\SNAPSHOTS\2008\May\misc\lepak 216.jpg
E:\pics\SNAPSHOTS\2008\May\misc\lepak 216.jpg
God is great. His powers are not limited, so thus neither is His knowledge. So, what we achieve and what is given to us even in our journey or our search for something is all meant for us. If it wasn’t; we would not be able to find it in the first place. We always see only what we want to see. It’s human. We are limited. And we are not without our flaws.

Friday, 13 June 2008

Fly, away, fly.

"Heaven isn't a place; heaven is perfection."
a quote from Jonathan Livingston Seagull. A book, belonging to my sister that i have just read about a couple of months back. It is quite a famous book. By Richard Bach.
It was known for its wisdom in aeronautical literature intertwined with a tale of personal discovery.
The latter always making it an interesting read.

It was not only one quote that i picked up from reading it, but a few. so here i am just thinking of sharing it because it actually is crossing my mind at this very minute. Though it might not be word for word, maybe you'll think of the hidden meaning beneath it as i did. ;)

"If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we've destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don't you think that we might see each other once or twice?"

here, i salute the friendship i have had with those of you, expanding time and space, mostly for over ten years now, ;)you know who you are and i appreciate your friendship

"We can lift ourselves out of ignorance, we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill."
-Jonathan Livingston Seagull-

Before i doze off. hehe. pick up the book if u r curious. ;)

Currently still reading: Flowers for Algernon (have not moved for ovr a week)


Top left: Adilah, Ems, Tas, Sakinah Bottom left: Adeq, Has, Zazzy, Dots

The song i've been playing on my phone is now stuck in my head
I even saved it as my message tone. ;) Love the simplicity of the superfluous voice over the tinkering of the piano. 'Love song' by Sara Bareilles.

So, here, today. Just gonna share it with you. Because listening to all those sappy love stories, or awful romance trials the people around me have gone through, i just like this song. makes no sense eh? right.

Sara Bareilles Lyrics
Love Song Lyrics

and while i am busy printing my flipcharts for the 4th time! (you see how i can get all riled up by what this course is costing me?) went through some photos of Tash she updated on Fb.

Just realised how much i miss em all.

This morning i received a text from Dot, planning a quick getaway trip to Penang. And yeah, it would have been great to be able to reply a yes (after so many sorry's and can'ts in the last few years) but had to turn it down.

Dids use to tell me how she feels at times looking at photos of our friends back home and feeling left out. but we know how it is. We'll be back, for everything..even if we have missed most of the moments. there will be more to look forward to.

Now, if only i can get this flip chart done.

Tuesday, 10 June 2008


i just realised that the last post was quite barren.

there was a picture that was supposed to be put up, but due to technical problems refused to show.

No matter, i found out just a few minutes ago that a friend of my just lost his mother. She passed away on Monday, and all i could do was text him my condolensces.

He didn't reply, and i didn't expec him to. What could he say? i myself didn't exactly know what to text him, just to let him know that i knew what happened. I could say i was sorry. But i guess it wouldn't have helped him in anyway. But i always thought it was courteous and only the right thing to do.

Being far, or at a distance. Even in these modern times can be trying. Sure, technology can cut away the distance you say, but technology is not everywhere. There are parts and limitations to its outreach. At least in between third world countries there are. AT least here, there is.

Phone lines are always crackling, internet is slow, or limited. Then even text messages don't get sent on time. What was meant to an emergency txt, is delivered and unsent till the very next day.

I am ranting. and rambling. and complaining. and i'm still in the city.

I wonder what it'd be like when i'm not. Time will tell. another 19 days to go.


Thursday, 5 June 2008


Haven't been sleeping well the past few days.
so i made this. It took me 20 mins.and yes.

i am an amateur.

thought i'd liven up my blog space. ;)


Yesterday was the 4th of June. Maybe it's not a good thing for me to remind myself of someone who is gone; but yesterday would have been his 77th birthday. Today, during presentation i received another notification of death of a loved one. But this time he was only 3 years old. Lee; adorable yet annoying Lee Kuan Yew (yes, we named him after the S'pore president..oddly enough my grandfather named his cat Lee too.So it was in his honor we gave him that name)

So really, i am not in mourning of the loss of my cat, but the loss of another part of the memory i kept of my late grandfather. it's been two years; almost two years since he left us. But as anyone who have lost a loved one would say that it still feels like yesterday.

To me at least; and i know my sister us having an even harder time whenever little reminders of Baba creeps up. I was with him when it happened. When everything started to go downhill.
But yesterday, all i did was mull in front of the computer to deal with my tutorial reports and snuck a few episodes of House in between to avoid falling asleep. Wasn't even paying attention to the date. Untill i got the text from my sister.

Yeah, guilt was all over me then. How could i forget? in my defense, these past few days have been really hectic so i had the dates jumbled up really. But still, the guilt is there.
When do you start to let go? I know life has to go on and it has. But when you start to forget; does it portray you as a machine? cold. heartless. or just forgetful?

I wonder. I hope i won't forget next year.

So here's to Lee, a beloved cat who was mostly stuck up but pretty and so annoyingly loving that we always pushed him away. Hope Tigger isn't so lonely.