You look BLUE

D   : you, scrub in.
me : (looks frantically around me) me?
D   : yes, you. go on.
me : (grins sheepishly) YES! *pumps fists in the air*
D   : (smiles and shakes head) junior doctors....

5 hours later

D   : now hold this clamp, and MAKE sure muscles doesn't close the gap.
me : huh? oh yeah... ( slowly touches the exposed bone )
D   :  (looks up) don't touch that!
me : Sorry! (pulls hand away subsequently resulting in collapsed muscle onto the open gap) Gulps.
D  : Oh boy..(smiles) you have to be strong to be in surgery miss. Are you tired?
me : (struggling to keep my eyes open) i am strong. i can do this. hand me that clamp.
D : *smiles*

--------------------------
i wrote that dialogue about 2 years ago.
best time i had in Surgery.
and here i am in a dinky small healthside clinic doing nothing close to surgery.

All the way in Sabah.
Where the trees are green, too many monkeys, Orang Utans more than i can count.

Hmm. Now i cant even sew a wound without fidgeting. Lack of practice. thankfully among the doctors in the clinic i'm still the only one that can set line on babies and get their blood. at least.

The Book of Tomorrow

Prague city in 2013 

I finished a book today. Started to read it at about 8 15 am while waiting for patients to come and and tell me their ailment of the day. I was lucky. Had a total of 9 patients that needed my services between 8 and 12 noon. So it was a slow Sunday. Thats how i finished the book.

Dont get me wrong; finishing the 500 pages of fiction is a feat for me since i started working in the medical field. I used to be able to finish a thick Goblet of fire thick book in less than a day. THAT was how awesome reading was to me. Then i grew up, got busy with work, social media, and pictures , movies and you tube took me away from the marvellous pages.

So i'm proud of my self today. Let me elaborate; 4 days ago..well maybe about 5 days ago my smartphone died on me. Yes, it has happened maybe more than once in the last few weeks. But this time my Samsung note 2 was unrevivable (if there is such a word, sigh. so rusty with writing). And my internet wasnt working either. So i was cut off from my endless Whatsapp group discussions, Instagram stalking, and facebook checking daily routine. It was hard at first, having all that silence. no call. no beeps. no vibrations.
I didnt get a phone straight away. Mind you i worked in 3 different clinics in 1 week. I move between these clincis constantly. And did i tell you they are all about an hour away or more from town. And they had bad phone network connection too. so i was uncontactable for 2 days before i decided to get the good ol Nokia for phone connection. This way my staff nurses and Medical assistants can call me fr emergencies.
And within those 5 days it was a steady calm of silence, with calls in between only from my staff needing guidance for referred cases.

No calls from friends. family. bosses.
It was sad at first, i guess we communicate in texts and messages more than the more physical voice. Then it became a tranquil thing. Away from conspiracy theories, forwarded messages that i couldnt care less about. I was disconnected. But i sort of liked it. And hated it at the same time. My new nokia had only a few contacts saved in the simcard. so if i didnt remember their numbers, i couldnt contact them just to say hi.
I didnt try looking them up either. Maybe i wanted to be lost. Just for a while.

In those 5 days . I slept early. I did yoga everyday. I cooked all my meals. Finished 2 books. Organised my room and managed to catch a few movies on HBO (Just installed mind you). And now with my internet back on i am no longer cut off. But facebook doesnt interest me much. Still too many conflicts of the world that would make me think too much and i still cant do much about. Except catch up on what happened with my idol and man of the moment Mr Sherlock Holmes. I'm 29 and still fan girling. Brings me back to my old teenage Moffatt fanatic moment. Out, about and experiencing the world of fandom.

I don't know where i'm going with this post. There wasnt a purpose for it. Just felt like writing.
Who knows when i'd write again.
Havent got a new smart phone yet.
 But i am looking up return flights to Europe. My itchy feet and dreamer child wants to go somewhere far. whimsical. and cold.  :)

Get off the grid once in a while. You'll remember the good ol days before we all became social media addicts with a pension for spreading rumors/theories.

Turning the dial on the aging clock

It has been ALMOST a year since my last post.

Funny how i will forget the existence of this blog after a few months of regular posting and return to it, reading all the old entries and being amazed at myself.

Not that i think so highly of my writing. Amazed that i have much to share or say at all.
Although it is mostly gibberish, or a mockumentary of my travel, and just a simple conclusion to the events that happened. I am nostalgic.

Much has happened. involving my friends.
a few more got married to the love of their lives.
a few delivered their first child
a bestie graduated from dentist schol (yay!)
i purchased myself an automobile - been 9 months now ;) the elusive bumblebee
hiked up the highest mountain in South East Asia (not an easy feat )
and a very good friend just celebrated her babys first birthday!

Talk about eventful eh?

Job wise i can say i am moving forward. Although i feel that i'm mostly in the same place.
Except that i am now comfortable.
been working for a year. In my fourth posting.
General Surgery Day 18 today.

Maybe the  next entry i'll write in a few more details or add in more pictures.
Untill then, life has been very much pre-occupying my time :)

Dee
Still saving for that elusive eurotrip

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

so the wonderfully poised and elegant Miss Audrey hepburn said something like that. or those might have been her exatc words. I'm not too sure but i think it's a good start to an entry, no?

I was in Singapore recently, for a quick 2 day trip to check out Universal Studios with my old travelling buddy Miss Dids. And it was quite a fun adventure, since i had been vyong for a road trip away from home and all things familiar prior to that.

But no, it wasn't a road trip, we opted for the cheaper and time saving mode of travel- commercial low cost air line! (trust me, its cheaper than the bus or train! hah!)  But once in singapore we managed with the cost-friendly and traffic avoiding system of the MRT.


we stayed at hotel 81 in geylang for those looking for a cheap, but quite comfortable place to stay in! it was about 60 sing dollars a night. cheap right...and its close to the MRT. 5 min walking distance.

before i bore you with more pictures as i have now realized that i really dont have much to say. I'll sum up our 2 day trip. "UNIVERSAL STUDIOS".

so we rode the rides, bought the drinks, tried out the theme diners, divorced the frankestein, bought a whole bag of candies for the sake of buying and did the touristy thing of walking around taking photos of ourselves with a map. :D

oh, and of course we couldn't miss the opening of

AND do this :D .

Toodles.

Tv-isms and its form of addiction

"If you're using half your concentration to look normal, then you're only half paying attention to whatever else you're doing. Just pointing out something that could save your life. You want society to accept you, but you can't even accept yourself."

X-Men First class. One of the few superhero movies i've been watching in the past few months. The best one of the bunch if you ask me, aside from Thor i think.
Green Lantern was not taking itself too seriously so in my opinion it was much of a bust but Captain America, i did enjoy thoroughly even in its own sense of cheesiness. He was exactly what an American hero is. though i never was a fan of the comics. Can't wait for The Avengers to come out next year and the latest installment of Batman.

quite the tv addict post wwork these days. Its like being mindlessly watching stupid reality shows fills my soul and de-stress my head from whatever happened at work everyday. I dont know if thats healthy.
The Voice is kinda cool. The winner Javier Colon ahs some awesome tunes.
And then there is True Blood - the vampire series i've been following since its first season- a bit on the explicit nude scenes too much though.
And of course thoe cooking shows. Masterchef, ironchef, DC cupcakes. Heloo its fasting month..its like a never ending cycle of cravings and food requestas after tuning in and you can't just stop. : p

I have been
On updates:

Much has happened from June to August. We are now in the Holy month of Ramadhan, so Salam Ramadhan to the muslims out there.

I lost a very good friend  last month to an incident no one expected. Al-fatihah and my prayers go out to you. I miss you dearly Miss Shakeera Hani Adnan. Known her for over 10 years. I believe Allah SWT has better plans for her.

A close friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Babycakes Khaisah Bt. Hashley. Got to see her 3 times already and how adorable is she! :)

Wish there was more to write. Maybe when i  feel lke it in another day or two.

Need to catch up on my zzs.

A never ending cycle of stupidity

That was what my Boss, the yo-yo said about our patients decision to forgo an operation. It was an AKA operation or Above Knee Amputation. I dont find it very professional to insult someones personal right not to cut off their legs.

yes their limbs can't be saved. Yes the bacteria or flesh eating bacterias will ascend and spread if we do not. But who are we to force an action on them.

It is our duty to advice.

Working life has been shaky for me to start off with. I've been on the job for 5 weeks now and there's no satisfaction. Maybe a tiny bit.

I dont HATE my job.
I'm just still trying to find my footing in the sea of H.O's who are far more worthy and quick on their feet and mind than i am.

Everyday i wonder if i'm doing the right thing. If i know exactly what i'm doing and if i really want to do this for the rest of my life.

Orthopaedics Department is not too heavy-handed. The protocols and procedures are though. I've had 4 calls which by normal HO standard is really not much but too me, i feel like i'm struggling.

sighs.

Took a sick leave today. And could not help to think about work all day which made my sick day unenjoyable.
Had a headache and migraine, so didn't go to work.
But i had no idea not going to work and thinking about work at home could give me more headache,

I believe i care too much.

Am working on weekends too so i guess i shouldn't feel guilty.

Let's hope my mood will pick up in the next few weeks and i'll be a pro in no  time :)

"I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you... Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you,"

 

There's just something soothing about a soft voice singing easily accompanied by the strumming of a guitar. I've played this song over and over about a year ago. And then rediscovered it when it randomly played on my ipod. 

Its been a week since my interview. Been restless waiting for THAT envelope with my name on it to arrive so i can report to duty (sounds like I'm going into the army). The truth is being on holiday is nice. For a short period of time. When it goes on longer than a month, you get restlesss.

No more classes to go to. No more quizzes to take. No more being late to class or tell a friend about that awesome procedure you got to do the hospital. Being in between getting a job and graduating is becoming stale. For me. 

I may complain now. But i know i'll wish for holidays as soon as i start working. 

Ah. The incomplete pointless unsatisfied feeling in us humans.

I'm rambling. 

The video above is titled falling in love at a coffee shop. Coffee, something i have loved for years. Flat white all the way dude :). Since my holidays began, i've been frequenting a few food haunts with friends. 

There was Fat Spoon that i went almost 3x in 2 weeks. But today we decided to look for the awesomely delectable Mille Crepe cake in PJ at Food Foundry.

The crepe cake was exceptionally good and so were the pastas. Mille is "thousand" so Mille crepe is supposedly a thousand layers of crepe with splashes of cream in between the layers to make up one awesome cake.

A slice of cake and good company always makes it better.

" Say what you mean, Tell me I'm right. Give me a sign, I wanna believe,"

 

The Terrace of DeLuna Cafe, Makassar March 2011.

Good morning wednesday. I am somewhat relieved to have gone through my Interview yesterday with less stumble than i had expected.

I'd write a blow-by-blow detailed Interview but then I realize that this might bore you to death. So i'll make it short and as interesting as possible.

Slept over at Huey's the night before to "prepare" the last minute details of what to bring, what to read, and what to wear for our first S.P.A Interview. We dallied between quizzing medical facts and playing Angry birds before we hit the sack at half past midnight. Thankfully mum rang to wake me up at 5.40a.m. so we wouldn't be late to  head to Putrajaya from Damansara.

We met up with Asma at the parking lot and made way into the Interview room. Needless to say it started on time, 8.am and the first numbers were displayed on screen. I was no.11 for my interview room. And staring at the clock between Interviews, running for bathroom breaks every few minutes was exhausting. I blame the nerves. Tummy aches too untill about 10 a.m. When my turn was up, we had gathered some of teh questions that seemed to be repeated or asked of almost all the candidates so i took a deep breath and calmed myself beforeturning the door knob and facing my future employers.

There were two interviewers. One lady who looked like she put on a bit too much make-up, with big hair and wears her golds and jewels proudly around her. And another man in a sharp suit who smiled and asked me to sit. The man was the doctor, and the lady was an officer of S.P.A and turned out not to be as menacing as her looks.

They did the small talk of my background, then graduated to my grades, before starting on the tough questions. My knowledge of the 5-year-medical degree.

"What diseases do you know. Let's start with that." the doctor asked.
Wow. Isnt that a  bit too wide? Then i started with infectious diseases, then thyroid problems, then DM before he stopped me and started getting to the point.

He had found my weak point. Statistical research questions. Percentage of certain cases in Malaysia. Number of cases of CVD's and Tropical diseases in the past year.

There you go. I hadn't read up on that. or i did , but it wasn't anough information. Because i didn't have the numbers he wanted. Thankfully it went okay. He explained what i couldn't answer. And sent me out of the room after 20 minutes. Phew...

At 2.30 pm they let us know that we passed the interview.

Now I'm joyously awaiting my induction letter. Sigh. Work must come.

Is it too soon?

You hit me once, i kick you back

   " A kiss with a fist is better than none.." Florence and the Machines

keeps playing in my head in the lsat 24 hours since i heard it.
isn't it domestic violence in a love story? but the beat is cool.


I've been neglecting my blog again.
Can you blame me? 
Tumblr's so much more.. easier to be lost in.
Also, i believe i have no more ways with words as i once used to.
Can't seem to prepare words to write up a piece even when i feel like i have so much to say.


But here i am.
Writing again. :)


I finally had my graduation on March 24th 2011. I now hold a Medical Degree. which means i am now an M.D.
you know?
Medical Doctor.
Yikes.


I filled in the necessary forms, applied for the hospitals i think are good and close for my two years of housemanship
and now all i've been doing is waiting.
The Interview (oooh!) will be on the 12th of April. That's 3 days away.
An my preparation for it?


Lots of reading up. Which i have failed to do. 
I hope when i'm done writing this i'll log out and actually do some reading.
Ran 2km on the treadmill this morning (my new aspiration to keep fit)
drank a cup pf coffee.
so hopefully nothing will put me to sleep in the next 12 hours at least :p.


Okay folks. The doctor has got to get back to the books. :)


The doctor. Tee hee.
     

There and Back Again

no, this is no Hobbit's tale.


Although at my height, there may be some possibilities, and the fact that i have big..no wide feet?..ok that's not the point. Its the New Year :) .
2011.

And naturally a lot of things have happened since my last post. Good things. a lot of good things. Looking at the sidebar of things i wanted to achieve by the end of 2010? Glad to say i scratched out most with gusto.
To start things off, how was your NYE? I spent mine at home, very quietly sleeping. hehe. yeay, no excitement there. I fell asleep between 10 to 11 watching fireworks outside my house. But i did have a new Year's Day barbecue with my friends :) we shopped, cleaned and cooked our way through a lot of sea creatures and added in some Italian choices for the menu. After dinner, we played fireworks and a game of monopoly before we retired around 10pm. woot! we play hard don't we?

Did i mention that i'm done? I'm done with being a medical student?
yep. Finished.
I've graduated to being a real life doctor now.
wow.
Feels cheesy saying it.
I think other people should say i'm a doctor. I feel cheesy.
....
....
No, I'm actually really happy and proud of myself for going through 5 and 1/2 years of medical education to grant a title with a much bigger responsibility to humanity than i could ask for.
I still can't believe I'm a doctor.
    Nadiah Alwi. M.D


And yes, i am still in Makassar Indonesia.
Had my oath-taking in the last days of December.
None of my family member was there though because everything was so last minute, and rushed. I only knew i could join the oath-taking ceremony the day before, so you see, i only told my parents on the day itself.

 

Among the 30 that took the oath with us, 5 of us decided to run to a photo studio and get snapped. In our gear. It was one of the most fun  I had. Free from worry.

So this post, that i'm writing here, is just to tell you, i graduated :)

Mum and Dad, this was for you. Alhamdulillah. 

Cambodia - Kemboja Part 2

Siem Reap

The Khmer or Angkor Civilization came into existence during the period from 802  to 1431 A.D. and stretched as far as the modern Thailand-Burma Border in the West and Wat Phou of Laos in the North during its peak.

Its emergence lies in the fact that the ancient Khmer rulers adopted a right political doctrine of its time, which enforce the unity among people. Moreover, they had developed an intelligent irrigation system to control the water of the great Mekong River for agricultures, which enhanced its prosperity.  The Khmer Civilization had long been perished over 5 centuries ago, but it left outstanding monuments such as the great Khmer temples of Angkor Wat and Bayon and numerous unique sculptures like Apsara.

The word "Angkor" is derived Sanskrit, an ancient Indian language, of "Nagara" which means "City".  Angkor Wat literally means "City of Temple" and Angkor Thom "The Magnificent City".

The drive to Siem reap, was for as long as 8-hours (reminded me of our good old annual Hari Raya KL-Kelantan drive). It was bumpy, long but scenic. In which case i noticed there were NO CATS to be seen. Weird. 3 days in cambodia and not a single cat? 


Theory: 
Cambodians eat cats.


The above theory was supported by my fellow traveller who said that he had a cambodian neighbor who took in all the stray cats and made soup. aaaaaaa. no way!


anyway..the drive was scenic, and long. and filled with temples from left to right. there were exactly 245 temples in between those 8 hours. we counted. 
Siem Reap was bautiful. it was small, clean, and filled with four-five star hotels. It reminded me of Luang Prabang. where there were many tourists, but no night pubs. everythig was serene and cooler thn Phnom Penh.

I immediately fell for this place. did i say it was clean and immaculate?


So we went to see the Angkor. Not just the Angkor Wat, we saw the Elephant terrace, we climbed up into the Angkor Bayon and Ta Phrom. You know, where Angelina did her Tomb Raider thing.


To describe it is as difficult as it was to xplore it. To enter the Angkor, you have to purchase a ticket. It can be a one day ticket or a one week ticket. or even a one month ticket.


To xplore the whole Wat by foot on a day ticket was suicide. I mentally opted for the bicycle route only to find out that you have to rent the bike in town, and then cycle to Angkor, and inside Angkor itself. so, scratch that! Bus ride it is with the rest of the tour group. 


Our tour guide, was awesome! Mr Tan, whom i thought was a chinese Malaysian, but was actually a local Cambodaian told great stories. I mean history. yeah.
We only had a day and a half in Siem Reap, so we made the most of one day in Angkor. and the rest of the half day xploring the other options.


1. Silk worm factory!
2. Tonle Sap river boat ride.


If you dont know what Tonle Sap is. pls google and shame on your geography teacher.


those 2 i shall write about in the next entry. :D

Cambodia - Kemboja

 Phnom PenH

   I had a dream of conquering SouthEast Asia on my travels. When i say conquer i dont mean wars and spilled blood. I meant, of the educational leisure kind. :) It is my own country's back-yard. And so since 2009 i have checklisted the countries i've stepped in.

Laos, Vietnam and Singapore. Cambodia, Thailand and Myanmar was still part of another plan (Granted that when my family roamed in bangkok, i was the only one left alone at home for my friends had planned an awesome surprise 16th birthday party for me :D ).

And in June, i finally made it to Cambodia, the famous world-heritage site of the oldest buddhist monument; The Angkor-Wat.  

Here is a view of the capital, Phnom Penh from the MAS 3-hour flight i took.

Arriving in Phnom Penh on my own, i took the first cab into the city which was about a 30-minute drive towards the hotel mum was staying at: Swiss inn. It was Malaysian owned and the only hotel crawling with Malaysians! (contributed by the fact that it served only halal food which was hard to find in this city). 

settling in, as mum was busy with her seminar, i joined her young-minded colleagues and her student in exploring the city. First stop was the royal palace. 

A brief history of Cambodia and the Khmer people for those who were ignorant of our Malay roots as well as combined east-asia culture like myself (sighs):

Cambodia is a country in South East Asia, less than half the size of California and twice the size of Scotland. Once it was the centre of the ancient kingdom of the Khmer, and its capital was Angkor, famous for its 12th century temples. The present day capital is Phnom Penh. In 1953 Cambodia gained independence after nearly 100 years of French rule. In the 1960s the population was over 7m, almost all Buddhists, under the rule of a monarch, Prince Sihanouk.

    I thought going to the royal palace, i might catch a glimpse of the royal Prince! but no such luck, we were however greeted by a giant portrait of Her Majesty the Queen. In my minds eye i was wondering what Queen Elizabeths photo was doing out here? And then the tuk-tuk driver told us that i was wrong. The portrait was of the Queen of Cambodiaa, Queen Monineath of the French lineage who resembles the British ruler down to a T. Though recalling i thing Queen M is pretty hot. haha.

   Anyway, we took the royal tour, and then walked along the Tonle Sap lake across the palace. It reeked. I guess its the same as Italy's waterways as they say. Photos can deceive u. just remember not to breathe in too long :)

Along the riverfront there were vendors selling flowers, in coconut vases! as well as insence sticks for us to vurn n pray. But most of all there were so many vendors selling fried creepy crawlies. Its similar to waht you might find in Thailand, but they smelled delicious though. But takng a second look my stomach turned and we settled for photo snapping instead. :)

Phnom Penh wasnt making too big an impression on me, so we decided to check out the all day market to feast on some shopping possibilities. Like any market; you can find bags, clothes, caps, food, shawls and the cambodian silk in every nook and cranny. Other wares include silver, bangles and jewelleries made of the local stones (which were awesomely cheap!)> Everything is negotiable and sells mostly in USD rather than Cambodian Riyal. But a majority of the Cambodians know Malay words, and take RM too!

There were calls of "Kakak, Abang, sini murah murah. cantik cantik," "tak mahal,"

which made us smile. AAh the comfort and hospitality of Asians :D.

English is easily understood though not really spoken. They do however excel at french. Wow! Being the cheapskate student traveller that i am. I bargained with the lowest prices and was answered by mostly laughs and shooaways by shop owners but the few that fell for my smile and childish bargaining (hahahah.) gave in to some low low prices (T-shirts was less than USD 1. thanks!)

2 Days in Phnom penh was just us walking around the city to see the sights and night market for food and shop. I couldnt wait for the bus ride to Siem Reap. The city of Angkor.

Life made out of cut-outs and memories

The photos as promised. :)

Zaznuriah Zahir & Hashley Tajuddin

                       
                                         

Nurfarissa Hussin & Rushdan Anuar

Gorgeous Garden Wedding

  To both my gorgeoud friends and their husbands :) who we have known for years as well; congratulations and may both newlyweds have the best of future, in love, life and everything in between.Alhamdulillah ;)

Rainbow veins

Bright eyes and subtle variations of blow...

Owl City writes awesome songs. I'm a fan. not a HUGE fan. but some of their songs are so fun, upbeat and yeat meaningful. I am writing this simply because their new album is playing int he background and it has been on repeat for a week now (yes, i am the type who will never tire of a new cd for about 2 weeks till i find a new album to obsess about).

I miss writing. I've been overly invested on my other interests and obligations in the past few months for lack of a better explanation. Perhaps no one will read this but just in case you might stumble upon my barren blog. i might as well writer something. :p

I got my anesthesiology department results today. And if u know me n realize i put up 'I <3 SAGA' on my fb status? I wasnt referring to Proton's first car, or my good ol car back home. Its an abbreviation of my examiner's name. Because i got an A! (i have bragging rights yes!)

Lats just say i was pleasantly surprised because a LOT has happened in that department and in between my holiday period before i took that exam. My hopes of excelling were practically zero.

Long story short. I went back to Malaysia on June 4th, a night before Za's wedding, on my scheduled exam day to which i had to postpone till i got back from Malaysia.

And i stayed in Malaysia till 14th July because Sha's wedding was on the 10th. You see? they are my closest and oldest girlfriends which made both weddings impossible to miss. I put my exam on hold for those two. And of course my ex-uia roomie Tai2's 3rd reception was on the 4th of July. Do you see where i'm going with this? (Photos i'm gonna put up in the next entry )


And once i was in Malaysia--for no less than 6 weeks; it's probable to say i was definitely going to travel somewhere and not be home ALL day.

I went to Melaka and Kedah to see my brothers.
I accompanied my mum to Cambodia on a seminar.
I went on a foodie road-trip with pals to Ipoh

And i stayed up late everynight to watch the World Cup.

Did you think i had time to study?

So on the day i flew back (14th), went home, cleaned up the ol shack and studied a little.
i went to see my examiner the enxt day to report to him and he set up my exam date, for two days later.

On the same day i was reporting for my first week duties of the O.B.G.Y.N dept. So mentally i was breaking down for fear of failure. And believe me when i say you DO NOT want to repeat anesthesiology dept.

He made me wait. As usual. About 4 hours. while he waited for all his opeartions to be over. then he decide to give me a written exam. (phewww).

And here we are. :)

like i said. I <3 Saga :D

Square one

So i realize i've been missing from blogger.com.

And the  reason for this was that i was preoccupied with work and med school (yeah. right.),
and somewhere between those weeks i also discovered tumblr.


And now i am a proud owner of a tumblr page, exclusively just for posting up things like awesome recipes, photos and general stuff i could reblog.

This page is more dedicated to the writer side in me though i find it extremely hard to find that side of me these days. Writing a paper or a review on researchers was more than difficult; which makes me doubt myself.

But of course the weakness in me writing that review was because it had to be in perfect Indonesian..and yeas. i tanked. pretty much. besides, i wonder if anybody reads this at all.

I've got an exam coming up tomorriw morning, so this is just me wasting time and avoiding to study.

check out my tumblr if you're ever interested :)

www.dydeealwi.tumblr.com

back to learning ;)

Tidal Waves

Ever felt like you're buried under so much thought, and a tidal wave was coming?

Just a sense of a bad feeling? Hmm.

Nevermind. Its just a lazy sunday and i miss blogging. So much has happened since my last entry, but i don't have the energy to sum up everything in one entry. Let me just express my confounding thoughts with photos. :)

I finally saw Sherlock Holmes, and i <3 it.

"You have the grand gift of silence, Watson. It makes you quite invaluable as a companion" - Sherlock Holmes.

Alice in Wonderland: I had expected more from Tim Burton,
JD as usual was brilliant

 .

    " Tell me, why is a Raven like a writing desk?" 

 .......

And yes, i just saw this. Don't tell me you don't feel like singing and dancing to ur own group of GLEE?

Sue: "Never let anything distract you from winning."

.......

yes, am watching a lot of dvd's and just chillin at home between working hours at the community clinic.
but hey, i deserve it :)

and right now, i'm baking choc chip cookies. hehe. i miss baking. i miss cookies. and i want my house to smell like baked vanilla essence :p.
...

Mirror yourself

    Before you read on, be warned that this might just be a very- very long post.

Now that i've given out the courtesy warning sentence, here goes.

I realize now that blogs, and facebook, and twitter are oh-so-accomadating in linking everyone with old friends, making it easier to get to know new people; and of course to 'window-shop' qualities, interests and photos (admit it. u stalk certain peoples pages too! ahah!) of others. Knowing all this, said companies have come up with private settings where we get the privellege and right, to choose whom we allow into our midst. 

Do we judge what people potray on their pages? what words and shout outs their tweets say? what photos they put up?

YES. 

the simple answer is, yes..- we do judge. The only difference between each person is whether or not they keep their judgement and opinions to themselves; or choose to do something about it.

My personal opinion is, everyone has a right to do their own thing, be their own way and discover themselves. Yes, i will think certain things about you, or i will have a thought of what you potray but i know its none of my business. Misinterpretations are a common thing as well, so i know that liberation and freedom is key. But different types of keys.

I am a person who values my privacy. My right to keep things the way i have always kept them. 

I don't consider myself someone important. But i forget.e

I forget who my father is. 

I forget who he used to work for.

I forget how dirty politicians can be.

I forget how keeping up appearances is something you may have to live by.

Why? 

I am 25 years old.

The illusion of freedom and independence does not sit well on me.

The desecration of my privacy as well as the privacy of my family is not a light matter.

To ruin a man, a family man with images of their children living free, but misinterpreted as something else? photoshopped to show indecency? i am apallaed. speechless and full of hate.

Allah knows everything. The good, as well as the bad - and we will all be judged. 

 You shall get yours as well.

That, i can promise you.

Love & celebrations

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday." - (500 days of Summer)

Today, the 14th of February is a Sunday. And coincidentally the first day of the Chinese New Year.  How will i make it lasting and memorable? ...

Psssst...someone told me...

"you're the easiest person to get along with, that i know " - A.

Told you that was going on my blog. :p hehe.
Takde keje. sighs.

Exam's are over.

i shall post a very extensive post on my exp. in surgical dept. it was..more than just educational ;)

and we are so fragile

"There are days when you think all is well and nothing can hinder the joyous air. and then reality hits"

Amidst the stressful days of surgical rounds and chasing the residents and supervisors so that i am
deemed qualified to be examined- i lost my will and strength.
Life is full of challenges.
But in between it all i'm glad i can still laugh and forget the dark days when my friends are around.
Thank you :)
Sha sbb buat i gelak ketawa. Asma for you-know-what. She n Huey too.