You look BLUE

D   : you, scrub in.
me : (looks frantically around me) me?
D   : yes, you. go on.
me : (grins sheepishly) YES! *pumps fists in the air*
D   : (smiles and shakes head) junior doctors....

5 hours later

D   : now hold this clamp, and MAKE sure muscles doesn't close the gap.
me : huh? oh yeah... ( slowly touches the exposed bone )
D   :  (looks up) don't touch that!
me : Sorry! (pulls hand away subsequently resulting in collapsed muscle onto the open gap) Gulps.
D  : Oh boy..(smiles) you have to be strong to be in surgery miss. Are you tired?
me : (struggling to keep my eyes open) i am strong. i can do this. hand me that clamp.
D : *smiles*

--------------------------
i wrote that dialogue about 2 years ago.
best time i had in Surgery.
and here i am in a dinky small healthside clinic doing nothing close to surgery.

All the way in Sabah.
Where the trees are green, too many monkeys, Orang Utans more than i can count.

Hmm. Now i cant even sew a wound without fidgeting. Lack of practice. thankfully among the doctors in the clinic i'm still the only one that can set line on babies and get their blood. at least.

The Book of Tomorrow

Prague city in 2013 

I finished a book today. Started to read it at about 8 15 am while waiting for patients to come and and tell me their ailment of the day. I was lucky. Had a total of 9 patients that needed my services between 8 and 12 noon. So it was a slow Sunday. Thats how i finished the book.

Dont get me wrong; finishing the 500 pages of fiction is a feat for me since i started working in the medical field. I used to be able to finish a thick Goblet of fire thick book in less than a day. THAT was how awesome reading was to me. Then i grew up, got busy with work, social media, and pictures , movies and you tube took me away from the marvellous pages.

So i'm proud of my self today. Let me elaborate; 4 days ago..well maybe about 5 days ago my smartphone died on me. Yes, it has happened maybe more than once in the last few weeks. But this time my Samsung note 2 was unrevivable (if there is such a word, sigh. so rusty with writing). And my internet wasnt working either. So i was cut off from my endless Whatsapp group discussions, Instagram stalking, and facebook checking daily routine. It was hard at first, having all that silence. no call. no beeps. no vibrations.
I didnt get a phone straight away. Mind you i worked in 3 different clinics in 1 week. I move between these clincis constantly. And did i tell you they are all about an hour away or more from town. And they had bad phone network connection too. so i was uncontactable for 2 days before i decided to get the good ol Nokia for phone connection. This way my staff nurses and Medical assistants can call me fr emergencies.
And within those 5 days it was a steady calm of silence, with calls in between only from my staff needing guidance for referred cases.

No calls from friends. family. bosses.
It was sad at first, i guess we communicate in texts and messages more than the more physical voice. Then it became a tranquil thing. Away from conspiracy theories, forwarded messages that i couldnt care less about. I was disconnected. But i sort of liked it. And hated it at the same time. My new nokia had only a few contacts saved in the simcard. so if i didnt remember their numbers, i couldnt contact them just to say hi.
I didnt try looking them up either. Maybe i wanted to be lost. Just for a while.

In those 5 days . I slept early. I did yoga everyday. I cooked all my meals. Finished 2 books. Organised my room and managed to catch a few movies on HBO (Just installed mind you). And now with my internet back on i am no longer cut off. But facebook doesnt interest me much. Still too many conflicts of the world that would make me think too much and i still cant do much about. Except catch up on what happened with my idol and man of the moment Mr Sherlock Holmes. I'm 29 and still fan girling. Brings me back to my old teenage Moffatt fanatic moment. Out, about and experiencing the world of fandom.

I don't know where i'm going with this post. There wasnt a purpose for it. Just felt like writing.
Who knows when i'd write again.
Havent got a new smart phone yet.
 But i am looking up return flights to Europe. My itchy feet and dreamer child wants to go somewhere far. whimsical. and cold.  :)

Get off the grid once in a while. You'll remember the good ol days before we all became social media addicts with a pension for spreading rumors/theories.

Turning the dial on the aging clock

It has been ALMOST a year since my last post.

Funny how i will forget the existence of this blog after a few months of regular posting and return to it, reading all the old entries and being amazed at myself.

Not that i think so highly of my writing. Amazed that i have much to share or say at all.
Although it is mostly gibberish, or a mockumentary of my travel, and just a simple conclusion to the events that happened. I am nostalgic.

Much has happened. involving my friends.
a few more got married to the love of their lives.
a few delivered their first child
a bestie graduated from dentist schol (yay!)
i purchased myself an automobile - been 9 months now ;) the elusive bumblebee
hiked up the highest mountain in South East Asia (not an easy feat )
and a very good friend just celebrated her babys first birthday!

Talk about eventful eh?

Job wise i can say i am moving forward. Although i feel that i'm mostly in the same place.
Except that i am now comfortable.
been working for a year. In my fourth posting.
General Surgery Day 18 today.

Maybe the  next entry i'll write in a few more details or add in more pictures.
Untill then, life has been very much pre-occupying my time :)

Dee
Still saving for that elusive eurotrip

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

so the wonderfully poised and elegant Miss Audrey hepburn said something like that. or those might have been her exatc words. I'm not too sure but i think it's a good start to an entry, no?

I was in Singapore recently, for a quick 2 day trip to check out Universal Studios with my old travelling buddy Miss Dids. And it was quite a fun adventure, since i had been vyong for a road trip away from home and all things familiar prior to that.

But no, it wasn't a road trip, we opted for the cheaper and time saving mode of travel- commercial low cost air line! (trust me, its cheaper than the bus or train! hah!)  But once in singapore we managed with the cost-friendly and traffic avoiding system of the MRT.


we stayed at hotel 81 in geylang for those looking for a cheap, but quite comfortable place to stay in! it was about 60 sing dollars a night. cheap right...and its close to the MRT. 5 min walking distance.

before i bore you with more pictures as i have now realized that i really dont have much to say. I'll sum up our 2 day trip. "UNIVERSAL STUDIOS".

so we rode the rides, bought the drinks, tried out the theme diners, divorced the frankestein, bought a whole bag of candies for the sake of buying and did the touristy thing of walking around taking photos of ourselves with a map. :D

oh, and of course we couldn't miss the opening of

AND do this :D .

Toodles.

Tv-isms and its form of addiction

"If you're using half your concentration to look normal, then you're only half paying attention to whatever else you're doing. Just pointing out something that could save your life. You want society to accept you, but you can't even accept yourself."

X-Men First class. One of the few superhero movies i've been watching in the past few months. The best one of the bunch if you ask me, aside from Thor i think.
Green Lantern was not taking itself too seriously so in my opinion it was much of a bust but Captain America, i did enjoy thoroughly even in its own sense of cheesiness. He was exactly what an American hero is. though i never was a fan of the comics. Can't wait for The Avengers to come out next year and the latest installment of Batman.

quite the tv addict post wwork these days. Its like being mindlessly watching stupid reality shows fills my soul and de-stress my head from whatever happened at work everyday. I dont know if thats healthy.
The Voice is kinda cool. The winner Javier Colon ahs some awesome tunes.
And then there is True Blood - the vampire series i've been following since its first season- a bit on the explicit nude scenes too much though.
And of course thoe cooking shows. Masterchef, ironchef, DC cupcakes. Heloo its fasting month..its like a never ending cycle of cravings and food requestas after tuning in and you can't just stop. : p

I have been
On updates:

Much has happened from June to August. We are now in the Holy month of Ramadhan, so Salam Ramadhan to the muslims out there.

I lost a very good friend  last month to an incident no one expected. Al-fatihah and my prayers go out to you. I miss you dearly Miss Shakeera Hani Adnan. Known her for over 10 years. I believe Allah SWT has better plans for her.

A close friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Babycakes Khaisah Bt. Hashley. Got to see her 3 times already and how adorable is she! :)

Wish there was more to write. Maybe when i  feel lke it in another day or two.

Need to catch up on my zzs.

A never ending cycle of stupidity

That was what my Boss, the yo-yo said about our patients decision to forgo an operation. It was an AKA operation or Above Knee Amputation. I dont find it very professional to insult someones personal right not to cut off their legs.

yes their limbs can't be saved. Yes the bacteria or flesh eating bacterias will ascend and spread if we do not. But who are we to force an action on them.

It is our duty to advice.

Working life has been shaky for me to start off with. I've been on the job for 5 weeks now and there's no satisfaction. Maybe a tiny bit.

I dont HATE my job.
I'm just still trying to find my footing in the sea of H.O's who are far more worthy and quick on their feet and mind than i am.

Everyday i wonder if i'm doing the right thing. If i know exactly what i'm doing and if i really want to do this for the rest of my life.

Orthopaedics Department is not too heavy-handed. The protocols and procedures are though. I've had 4 calls which by normal HO standard is really not much but too me, i feel like i'm struggling.

sighs.

Took a sick leave today. And could not help to think about work all day which made my sick day unenjoyable.
Had a headache and migraine, so didn't go to work.
But i had no idea not going to work and thinking about work at home could give me more headache,

I believe i care too much.

Am working on weekends too so i guess i shouldn't feel guilty.

Let's hope my mood will pick up in the next few weeks and i'll be a pro in no  time :)

"I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you... Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you,"

 

There's just something soothing about a soft voice singing easily accompanied by the strumming of a guitar. I've played this song over and over about a year ago. And then rediscovered it when it randomly played on my ipod. 

Its been a week since my interview. Been restless waiting for THAT envelope with my name on it to arrive so i can report to duty (sounds like I'm going into the army). The truth is being on holiday is nice. For a short period of time. When it goes on longer than a month, you get restlesss.

No more classes to go to. No more quizzes to take. No more being late to class or tell a friend about that awesome procedure you got to do the hospital. Being in between getting a job and graduating is becoming stale. For me. 

I may complain now. But i know i'll wish for holidays as soon as i start working. 

Ah. The incomplete pointless unsatisfied feeling in us humans.

I'm rambling. 

The video above is titled falling in love at a coffee shop. Coffee, something i have loved for years. Flat white all the way dude :). Since my holidays began, i've been frequenting a few food haunts with friends. 

There was Fat Spoon that i went almost 3x in 2 weeks. But today we decided to look for the awesomely delectable Mille Crepe cake in PJ at Food Foundry.

The crepe cake was exceptionally good and so were the pastas. Mille is "thousand" so Mille crepe is supposedly a thousand layers of crepe with splashes of cream in between the layers to make up one awesome cake.

A slice of cake and good company always makes it better.